Under Our Umbrella: Part One

The "Umbrella" song by music artist, Rhianna holds special meaning for me. The lyrical masterpiece about sharing the shelter of her love stirs haunting memories of a poignant time in my family's lives. It marks the beginning of our journey. It all started last summer, a few days before the school year began.

I won't go into detail about the events of the evening, but I will tell you that it was a life changing night, not just for me, but for my oldest son. He was eight at the time and had been diagnosed as ADHD two years before, although I had known that it was coming for a long, long time. There was just something different about him. He is just one of seven kids in our family, so I have many others to compare his behavior to. I know it has been said that a parent should never compare their children. In my son's case, however, comparison is what saved his life.

The whole month that led up to the night that changed everything, my son's mood stability was erratic and behavior plummeted. His bad moods got worse, his rage uncontrollable and his good moods were almost manic. He couldn't sit still to save his life, couldn't focus, couldn't react normally to anything I told him. He was becoming a monster to his siblings. Our days were suddenly tormented with his fits of rage and depression, hyperactivity, brutal attacks and I almost hated being his mother. I also hated myself for hating it. I didn't even know the child he had become. I was being told that it was ADHD, but in my heart, I knew something else was going on.

My name is Kadi and this is just the beginning of our Umbrella story...


Tammy said...

Mom's always know. My son, he's autistic, was my first born. I had no one to compare him so. After my daughter was born and I watched her growing and developing typically, I couldn't believe the difference.

a49erfangirl said...

Same as in this house. I understand this all to well!